[Hahaha... ha. Rudy's laughing is distinctly nervous. It doesn't help how big this guy is.]

Ah... heh, that so? I guess I wouldn't find them here, then. [So much for sending the guy on a goose chase.]

Um, nevermind that. I was hearing from someone that you're, um, a pretty knowledgeable owl guy. That you, ah... know things. [... the very definition of knowledgeable, Rudy.] And you're running an advice column, right...?